


Bits and Pieces

by leupagus



Series: Trash Fire Jesus [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-20 02:50:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5989447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leupagus/pseuds/leupagus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collected fragments about <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/5609887">to the sky without wings</a>; will probably not make much sense without reading that story first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Artwork And Playlists

**Author's Note:**

> Since tumblr is Satan's own asshole w/r/t trying to keep track of things, I'm using this to archive all of the fractured scenes I write about "to the sky without wings" and that universe, as well as the artwork and playlists that have been inspired by the story I've still got listed in my docs as "disasterfic." These snippets don't belong in any particular place; they're just inspired by various questions or pictures or comments.

Artwork:  
[It Looks All Right To Me](http://procrusher.tumblr.com/post/136616655501/it-looks-all-right-to-me-luke-says-from-behind) by procrusher  
[Call Us Even](http://procrusher.tumblr.com/post/137529036331/the-commendation-ceremony-a-week-later-makes-up) by procrusher  
[According To Your Rules](http://wobblycompetencies.tumblr.com/post/137605710664/the-following-facts-i-now-hold-to-be-true-and) by wobblycompetencies  
[THAT scene](http://marjorams.tumblr.com/post/137196142403/coming-out-of-hiding-to-go-straight-to-the) by marjorams  
[Straddle Luke's Lap](http://nautilusl2.tumblr.com/post/137956162977/i-havent-been-inspired-to-draw-in-forever-but-by) by nautilusl2  
[I'm sorry if I hurt you](http://marjorams.tumblr.com/post/138201250003/im-sorry-if-i-if-i-hurt-you-he-adds-looking) by marjorams  
[Stolen Moment](http://hatimoon.tumblr.com/post/138904878351/the-world-pauses-he-looks-up-at-lukes-face) by hatimoon  
[people kept yanking it](http://procrusher.tumblr.com/post/137885103106/in-my-ongoing-campaign-to-fuel-the-trash-fire-and) by procrusher  
[a superior ending to the rescue scene](http://spaggel.tumblr.com/post/137659653931/ok-no-where-in-leupagus-fic-to-the-sky-without) by spaggel  
[Scene from Ch 6](http://wobblycompetencies.tumblr.com/post/138535984824/scene-taken-from-to-the-sky-without-wings-chapter) by wobblycompetencies  
[That OTHER Scene](http://random-aspects.tumblr.com/post/137853019572/for-leupagus-fic-that-shall-not-be-named-thank) by random-aspects  
[The Trees](http://aknightfornawt.tumblr.com/post/138080138402/an-illustration-for-the-unforgettable-fic-to-the) by aknightfornawt  
[Dameron In Uniform](http://hatimoon.tumblr.com/post/138583331961/all-thanks-to-serene-quill-for-flattening-me-in) by hatimoon  
[I Am Ready To Move On](http://aknightfornawt.tumblr.com/post/138543760547/i-am-ready-to-move-on-now-i-am-not-this-for-i) by aknightfornawt (artwork for "I Fixed It" Fic, below)  
[Tears and Pain](http://fav.me/d9r5bfe) by MuchsTafa

Playlists:  
[Blandan on a Stick](http://8tracks.com/magnesiumqueen/blandan-on-a-stick) by magnesiumqueen.tumblr.com  
[That Kind of Grateful](http://8tracks.com/leupagus/that-kind-of-grateful) by me with artwork by brofisting.tumblr.com  
[My Sweetest Downfall](http://8tracks.com/leupagus/my-sweetest-downfall) by me with artwork by brofisting.tumblr.com  
[Every Kiss The Last](http://8tracks.com/thedevilsarehere/every-kiss-the-last) by i-came-in-like-a-reccing-blog.tumblr.com  
[what I was built to do](http://8tracks.com/rcmclachlan/what-i-was-built-to-do-a-luke-poe-mix) by rcmclachlan.tumblr.com  
[you're so far away and so long ago](http://8tracks.com/cryknockout/you-re-so-far-away-and-so-long-ago/) by madalenga.tumblr.com  
[and the stickiest leaves](http://8tracks.com/randomaspects/and-the-stickiest-leaves-1) by random-aspects.tumblr.com  
[Blandan colgando de un palo](http://8tracks.com/krzyblair/blandan-colgando-de-un-palo) by linguisticjubilee.tumblr.com  
[you can feel me more than I can](http://8tracks.com/surrenderer/you-can-feel-me-more-than-i-can) by tofeelnew.tumblr.com  
[of memories you bury (or live by)](http://8tracks.com/kudzita/of-memories-you-bury-or-live-by) by intellectualhedonist.tumblr.com


	2. Under The Tree

_Inspired by[this post](http://leupagus.tumblr.com/post/137769322468/leupagus-yorgoslanthimos-oscar-isaac-in-the-two) of Oscar Isaac sitting under a tree._

 

Maybe that’s the tree that he plants on Tatooine a few years after Luke’s fucked off to who knows where, and Poe meets Beru’s family and asks if they can do him a favor and take care of this tree that Poe brought with him.

“It was… important, I guess, to Beru’s nephew,” Poe says, and of course they know Luke’s become quite a famous young man these days but he would write to them occasionally (although they haven’t heard anything for a bit) and he was always such a nice boy so they do as Poe asks, and a couple years later they message Poe being like, “We think we must have done something wrong with the tree?” and Poe’s all, “…what do you mean?” and they’re like, “You should come out and see for yourself.”

And so Poe and Leia take a trip out to Tatooine and get to Beru’s family’s house and the grandpa is looking very solemn and he takes Poe and Leia (”aren’t you that little girl who came and visited with Luke once or twice?”) out into the irrigation canyon, which is the only place that _anything_ can grow out here, shielded at least partially from the sand and suns and wind. Most farmers, if they’re lucky, can grow enough to feed their families.

But the canyon looks like something out of another world; lush and green and warm in that way Poe remembers from his childhood. Every square inch is taken up with something alive and growing, tender-fingered and beautiful, and in the middle of it, already grown so tall that its trunk reaches up over the edge of the canyon and beyond, is a blue-green tree.

“I didn’t know your irrigation system was this good,” Leia says, her voice strangely hushed. A little girl has taken her hand at some point, swinging it back and forth as she tells her about the swingset they’ve built.

“It wasn’t,” says the grandpa, and even he seems more alive under the shade of the tree, straightening up from his stoop over his cane. “Not until we planted that tree of yours.”

They wander around the garden but Poe and Leia end up back up top after a while, Poe sitting at the edge of the canyon and still sheltered under the canopy of the tree. Leia holds out her hand, as though she’s reaching out for something, and Poe squints up at her, smiling.

“You grew up with this?” Leia says after a while, sitting down next to him. He offers her a puff and she rolls her eyes but takes it.

“Yep.”

She takes a thoughtful inhale, stares out at the endless desert. “You really didn’t have a chance,” she sighs, and the touch of her shoulder against his is as warm as a blanket, protecting him against the suns.


	3. On Hands And Sleeves

_Inspired by[this picture](http://leupagus.tumblr.com/post/139200172373/so-wobblycompetencies-has-blessed-me-with-some), drawn by [wobblycompetencies](http://wobblycompetencies.tumblr.com/)._

 

Also how weirdly endearing is it for me that Luke’s always in longsleeved shirts because he knows people are twitchy about seeing that unnerving join between body and machine? Like I have this whole headcanon about how he really doesn’t mind it, as far as feeling self-conscious about it – in fact I really don’t feel like Luke ever has any of those typical self-image problems, because he spent so much of his childhood looking awkward and then his young adulthood being told he was more terrifying than beautiful and so he never learned to look at himself, you know? The way most people do (in our world, the way most women do, but I think in Star Wars verse its an all-genders type thing) to see if they can find a new wrinkle or another grey hair. He knows everything about the mechanics of his artificial hand but he probably couldn’t tell you how many moles are on his face (when he grows out the beard the first time, it’s the first time he’s _looked_ in probably twenty years, really examined his own features. And he still doesn’t see much of a difference, but he thinks that if he can push Poe far enough away, at least out of arm’s reach, then maybe one day they can be friends and he can put this _want_ up on a shelf where it’s not constantly tripping him up).

Anyway my point being that despite all that, Luke notices that people get really uncomfortable whenever he rolls up his sleeves or wears anything with short sleeves – anything that shows that he’s not human anymore, not entirely, not  _enough_ , and even though it stabs at his heart he wears long sleeves and grits his teeth through the summers and when he can’t be bothered to get his exoskin repaired he sighs and pulls on a glove, because he’s frightening enough as it is.

And this lasts until he’s in his late 30s, until after Poe makes his disastrous seduction attempt but before thwarting the assassination, in that awkward two years where Luke still wants to be friends with Poe but can’t quite figure out how to navigate around Poe’s desire. Because of course Poe wouldn’t make it easy on him by being sulky or angry or even withdrawn; he still cuts the line to Luke’s office hours and smiles up at him and talks about all the amazing things he’ll do once he’s in the Fleet, and Luke can feel his affection for this exasperating boy winding around his heart like the roots of a tree, so that pulling it out now would be dangerous, since he’s let it grow untended for too long.

So one day he’s coming back from saber practice – he teaches some of the older kids, the ones who _don’t_ keep clamoring for their own lightsabers, the ones who look queasy at the thought of violence, he teaches them because he knows they’re the ones who will be most fierce in protecting the others (and years later he’ll find out he was right, about every one of them; they were the ones cut down first, they were the ones trying to guard the others). He’s limping from a particularly well-aimed kick that Hannah gave to his shins, his tank top is soaked through and all he can think about is taking a shower and finding an ice pack, or maybe whining to Leia until she agrees to practice her healing trances on him. 

Which is why he doesn’t notice that particular still spot in the middle of the chaotic swirl of Academy students until he’s face to face with Poe, just inside the dormitory.

“Whoops,” says Poe, but he’s grinning from ear to ear, tousled and flushed and with a certain loose-limbed quality that Luke associates with Leia after she and Han have been _working out their differences_ , and he immediately makes sure his shielding is up so he doesn’t get any details. Poe’s sex life is none of his business, although he can’t help but be glad in some aching sort of way to see Poe looking so happy. “Hi there.”

Luke attempts to scoot past him, glad that his robe is draped over his arm – the students don’t mind it so much, but he’s reluctant to find out what Poe might think of it, how he might recoil with a twist of his mouth. Luke’s been spoiled, he knows that; he’s gotten used to the steadiness of Poe, the way he’s a quiet spot amidst everyone else’s whirlwind. He shouldn’t worry about what might happen if Poe starts to fear him; more likely he should have long since started worrying about the fact that Poe never has. 

“Excuse me,” he tries. 

Poe gets out of his way only to follow him to his door. “Did you get _hurt_?” he asks, leaning against the wall next to the keypad. Luke is all ready to reassure him that it isn’t serious when he looks up and sees that Poe’s still smiling, delight pouring out of him. “The great Luke Skywalker, felled by a kick to the knee.”

“Shin, actually,” he says, and punches in the code.

Poe wanders into the room after him, hands in his pockets. “Who was it? Was it Ben?”

“Ben doesn’t attend saber training,” Luke says, in what he hopes is a suitably discouraging tone. He toes off his boots and hangs up his robe, trying to figure out how to order Poe out of his room in a way that doesn’t have him coming back in twenty minutes with an ice pack and/or a proposition to help Luke forget his pain. He turns around and realizes that his arm is bare, the exoskin old and worn enough to make it obvious where the circuitry begins. But it’s too late.

Poe’s staring at him, but his expression isn’t disgusted or even uneasy; even through the shields Luke can feel the spike in Poe’s interest, the rush of his heartbeat that has nothing to do with fear. He can also feel himself  _blushing_ , which he’s pretty sure he hasn’t done for over a decade. 

Poe sees that, too, and his cheeks must be hurting at this point from all the grinning. “You’ve been holding out on me,” he says, which is enough to make Luke cross his arms over his chest and glare.

“If you wouldn’t mind,” he says, and indicates the door.

“I really do,” Poe sighs, but he goes to the door obediently enough. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with an ice pack, Commander,” he says as the door opens. Luke covers his face with his hands but fortunately he can’t sense anyone just outside his quarters who might overhear _that_. “You just rest and make sure you don’t hurt anything else.”

“Just go,” he says, and he can hear Poe’s laugh and the easy brush of his affection, quiet and soft, fading away with distance as he heads toward the Infirmary. He probably _will_ bring Luke an ice pack, and so Luke heads for the fresher. He needs to be clean and clothed – more clothed – if he’s going to be able to handle any more of this today.

As he puts on his uniform, he looks down at his right hand, faded almost white now with age, long past overdue for a replacement, the exoskin frayed. He turns it this way and that, thinking about the way people look at him and how he looks at himself, and he carefully rolls up his sleeves just past his elbow. It doesn’t look all that frightening, he thinks. He hopes.

He’s sitting at his desk grading papers when there’s a chime at the door, and a familiar calm waiting on the other side; so he takes a deep breath before saying, “Come in.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture](http://spaggel.tumblr.com/post/137853444291) by spaggel, and rage, also by spaggel. Set in a possible future just after Poe finds Luke and Rey, and rescues them in the nick of time.

Poe climbs in after; Luke stays perfectly still as Poe grumbles behind him, getting the blankets and pillows sorted to his satisfaction. “Don’t get any ideas,” Poe orders, then immediately belies that by slotting himself in neatly along Luke’s back, his hand sliding in between Luke’s arm and his side.

It’s as though he’s slid into a clear pool, blissful envelopment that turns all of Luke’s higher functions off. He can’t help relaxing into Poe, curling into him. It’s not even pleasure, he realizes: it’s relief, the cessation of something so like pain that Luke can’t think of a better word. He heaves a sigh and freezes, expecting Poe to pull away, decide to sleep on the floor after all, and he can’t blame him for it. If Luke were stronger, better at hiding his own–

But Poe gathers him in closer with a harrumphing mutter that doesn’t sound all that convincing even to Luke. “For the record,” Poe says, tangling their legs together, his chin rasping against Luke’s shoulder, “I’m going to be pissed at you for at least a year.”

“That seems fair,” Luke says. Poe’s feet are freezing against his. He tucks Poe’s cold hand under his chin. He’s never been so comfortable.

“And we’re not having sex,” Poe adds. “Not until you can convince me that you’re going to survive past fifty.”

“I’m fifty-four,” Luke points out, because saying something like _this is already more than I deserve_ is probably going to earn him a reluctant lecture about self-esteem from someone who actively hates him at the moment.

Poe makes a disgusted noise, the air ghosting past Luke’s ear. “I can’t believe I ever wanted to have sex with you,” he complains. “Old man who can’t be relied to keep himself alive for more than ten minutes unsupervised—“

“Rey and I would have been fine,” Luke feels compelled to argue, but Poe tightens his hold on him as though he can cuddle him into submission.

“Rey and you would have been killed by the stupidest monster in existence and you know it,” Poe says. “You Jedi types are all the same.”

“In what way?”

“In the way of thinking that you need to do it all alone,” Poe says, fidgeting behind Luke for a moment before huffing irritably. “Lift your head.”

Luke does as instructed and Poe’s other arm slides under his pillow, effectively caging Luke in against the wall. He can’t say he minds. “Comfortable?”

Poe actually laughs, and presses a kiss on Luke’s neck, as though he can hardly help his own affection. “I shouldn’t be rewarding you,” he says, but his mouth is still on Luke’s skin, brushing along the hairline. “You’re just going to pull this shit again.”

“You’re alive,” Luke says. “That’s all the reward I ever hoped for.”

That earns him a sharp graze of teeth, which again, seems counterproductive to Poe’s plan. “Go to sleep, Luke,” Poe orders before Luke can point this out. “Before I die out of sheer—“

“Petty revenge?” Luke supplies.

Another laugh, and another sting of teeth. “Definitely not,” Poe murmurs. “Sleep, all right?”

But Luke is already drifting off, dreaming of an endless bank of stars swirling overhead.


End file.
